Before you think about saying anything, take stock of what’s actually different about your mate. Not one bad round or one moody afternoon, everyone has those. We’re talking about changes that hang around.

Things to watch for:

• Pulling away — cancelling plans, ghosting the chat, skipping rounds
• Energy shifts — flatter, more irritable, or wound up more often
• Mood changes — anxious, low, or restless for longer stretches
• Dark or self-critical humour — jokes that sound heavier than usual
• “Fine” that doesn’t ring true — words and tone not quite matching
• Appearance / energy levels — tired eyes, can’t-be-bothered vibe, off form
• Sleep or drinking changes — talking about poor sleep, drinking more than usual without a good reason
• On-course behaviour — gone quiet, snapping at nothing, no spark in the banter, self-talk turning harsher

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A rule of thumb is that if something feels “off” and it’s been there for around two weeks or more, it’s worth paying attention to.

Think of it like a golf swing. Everyone hits the odd shank. If it shows up across a couple of rounds, you know there is more to it than a one-off. Behaviour works the same way. You are just spotting when a rough patch starts to hang around.

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👉 For more detailed guidance on spotting the signs, check out our Spotting Signs Guide →